It's been a long time since my last post, and that is because everything that I wanted and more came to fruition. All of the dreams posted last January merged or metamorphosed into bigger dreams, and generally became more fruit-like and less dried seed. Especially the dream to WORK HARDER. Boy howdy, did that dream turn into a gigantic pomegranate. A delicious and intimidating thing to approach, but there I was, eating up ideas, like ruby red juice filled pomegranate seeds, and getting more deeply committed to nearly everything in which I became involved.
Business is...
Booming! Well, kind of, that's kind of true. And it's kind of not true, too. It's all perspective, all ebb and flow. I was very busy in the months leading up to the Christmas season, but now things have calmed a bit and I'm trying to figure out what it is that I should be doing during this lull. How can I work up to my goal, of serving 15-20 clients per week? Because for this massage therapist, that would be full-time. The time I put into each session before and after (SOAP charting and planning potential next steps), the studying and research that I do, the marketing (my weakest point), classes, etc. amounts to that number of clients being very important to my role as a support.
A local business owner - who is a sweetheart with a highly successful and time-honored massage therapy practice - kindly advised me to always remember to take careful stock of my overhead, or the funds that I need to pay out in order to keep my business going, and to use that knowledge to help me breathe. She said that in her experience, looking at that number and knowing she was floating was enough for her to trust that it would unfold, things continued to fall into place. Another very established practitioner told me that I was going to be O.K., and to trust in the Universe. So, I admit it, even though I have so much for which to be grateful, I'm still needing to remind myself to just be in the present and trust. I'm still learning trust as an intentional practice. But Trust is earned, right? But it would be silly not to trust at this point. I bet I could write down a thousand reasons to be grateful, right now, without lifting pen from paper to pause for more than a few breaths. But that doesn't mean that I don't occasionally look upon the deeps that I've fabricated so well and tense up just a little bit, like a little ship bracing for a hurricane that doesn't exist. Right at this moment, I'm floating, and reaching up into the clouds, and for a minute there, I felt a little like flying, but all it takes is the sight of sparkling waves to make me feel that way.
A great teacher named Mansi once told me, when you raise a sail, you have to deepen a keen. I'm still mulling over that.
In October, I was so happy when I was in South Bend for a three day weekend learning practical applications of Myofascial Release (John Barnes). I remember walking through a skyway from my hotel on the way to class and thinking that this learning, this deepening of knowledge and practice of support is what it's all about. And the Thai dinner with three other massage therapists from other states, sharing ideas and supporting each other, that was just a treat. I miss it and hope to attend the next workshop of that ilk in August, if I can afford it. However, there are some great massage therapists in this fair city, and I am delighted to be growing alongside them.
Also, there are small business taxes... this tax season I completed my first full year of business and so taxes are truly daunting right now, and I'm learning how to perhaps keep better books than before.
Expansion
I need to give a shout out to the Notawasseppi Huron Band of the Potawatomi - by stating that after volunteering for them for a little bit there, they hired me, and they were very generous, and as my last post so long ago spoke of how fulfilling it was for me to volunteer with them, I feel I should also share that I was in the end most generously paid for my efforts.
I have been working at local spa - last spring, I began renting a space at Sheri's Fine Salon and Spa on Gull Rd. I met Sheri through Frankie Holzbach, who with Sue Jones taught a fascinating five week course in the medicinal properties and potential contraindications of essential oils. The expansion has been great for business, as I ended up nearly doubling the amount of sessions that I gave at my home therapy room last year. I gave just over 140 sesssions last year, though my client base has remained small and close to my heart.
I'm still working out of both places. I have remained the only (licensed) massage therapist at Sheri's, and the room has been occupied by none but me, so it's lovely to have that space and keep the energy the way that feels right to me. If there were more clients than I could handle, I could only share a room with someone who shared my energy and respect for the space. The only challenging thing about practicing in two places is that I have to carrry everything with me, not only my SOAP charting and books and resources for my clients, but also my essential oils and product list of organic and healthy creams, lotions, and carrier oils, and of course my music, and square reader, because I also still practice at home, and I prefer to have all of that with me when I give a session. I have developed the simplest of systems to aid me in this constant endeavor, and it involves many small bags going into a larger bag. Once in awhile, I forget something.
Hell Hath No Fury (Speaking of Pomegranates)
A little off topic here, but I made mention of pomegranates earlier, and certainly I am not alone in that I can't eat a pomegranate without thinking of the Greek myth of Persephone, who ate pomegranate seeds and became somehow bound by this act to leave the earth and spend part of each year with Hades (who managed the mythical Greek underworld). In one story, her mother Demeter was so upset by this abduction that she drew her soft white mantle over the Earth and fell asleep, awaiting her daughter's return. Ah, pretty, sparkling snow... In another story, Demeter simply refused to let anything grow as long as her daughter was in the underworld (Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned). And so the earth began to grow cold, and it went on for just too long, and eventually, Hades had to let Persephone the Pomegranate Eater go back up for the better part of each year, and that's when Spring arrived, and why, ancient Greeks reasoned, it continues to follow Winter. Either way, I think Persephone's story is a representation of budding, growth, harvest, and rest (among other things) and it occurs to me that this Winter we've been given here in southwestern Michigan, so wild and full and furiously driven, has given me the gift of time, for the moment in fact, I'm snowed in without my snowshoes.
Spring is Coming
I remember when Winter Was Coming, and I had to stop watching "Game of Thrones" because the White Walkers were just waaaaaaay too much for me. I also had to stop blogging, even though people seemed to like it. I just didn't hardly know what to say.
"Wordly power mean nothing. Only the unsayable, jeweled inner life matters." - Rumi
Hopefully I will be better about keeping this blog updated, struggling with the fact that vulnerability is a tough thing to share. That, however, is probably not what Rumi meant by "unsayable." Hmmm...
What Dreams Made Come
Although it seems really unheard of now, dreams of last year - of merely planting the beautiful Virginian "Painted Lady" or "Sweet Pea" on a trellis - seemed, for a minute in March, to have manifested - if not in the flowering of that actual seed - as an opportunity to move to Virginia within a month of that post, of which we had no inkling before. I brought a couple of rocks back from a hike we took off of the Blue Ridge Parkway in Virginia, and prayed for my husband Paul to get the job, at least just because clearly he would be an asset and I would hate to see him get turned down, and he was offered the job, but it wasn't right for him, and in the end, we chose to stay and to put our roots in deeper into Kalamazoo. We are officially not stuck here. We like living here, and are so invested here, and it is because leaving would not be the right thing to do that it would be difficult. I believe that any major move has to have passion behind it. Otherwise it's just awful. And the moral of the story is, I'll be very careful when I order seeds next month! Native flowers only! I'm kidding, mostly. Not one-hundred-percent-ly. What is certain is that we are happy here, and we have come to realize that Kalamazoo has everything we want to support, and everything we need to be supported, and we like running into good souls everywhere here, just by taking a walk downtown.
Volunteering
Oh! Grace Hospice! I was working to get orientated into Grace Hospice last I wrote, mentioned that I had to take two TB tests and a drug test and never blogged since then. Passed the tests of course, became a volunteer, and in July even took the TB test(s) again to satisfy some bureaucratic issue they were having, and generally I became fully orientated... and eventually, decided not to do that anymore. That said, volunteering for Grace Hospice was fulfilling at points, and some very affirming moments, however I never could seem to be able to give as much time to it as was necessary for me to give to feel invested in their program, so last Fall while in between patients I finally admitted - to myself and to them - my express need to stop volunteering there. The experience and the training were invaluable, and I met some wonderfully spiritual people, and got to be a part of the dying process and to give adaptive massage in the form of Comfort Touch and Geriatric Massage. I got to share knowledge and write extensively about this type of massage as Grace had not offered massage in an organized way before, and this was a new branch for the national corporation. I learned that I am comfortable and grounded with the process of grieving, death and dying, and I'm happy to really know solidly that I can work with the dying. And, I think it will be something that I pick up again when I am not dancing into so many circles. And I just don't know when that will be. I've seen dancers in their 90's... In the end, I must admit that I had a feeling it wasn't the right space for me, for the long run, but listening to that inner voice is to take some more practice, perhaps.
And, I found Open Doors.
http://www.opendoorskalamazoo.org/
Open Doors is a ministry in our community that helps people find the ground, get back on their feet and begin to realize their potential, and it works. Once per month for the past year and a half, my neighbor Katie and I have worked together to prepare a homecooked meal for our local women's shelter, accommodating from 3-10 women at Next Door, which is an affiliate of Open Doors. I can think of no worthier cause and I'm thrilled that Katie found it so many moons ago. Options for volunteering included tutoring, renovating and/or painting houses, cooking, etc. Cooking for (and sometimes, with) the ladies at Next Door has become my favorite volunteer opportunity ever. To make a home cooked meal with love, and then to get to sit with the ladies and enjoy this meal together, is a sacred honor, and quite a lot of fun. They're wonderful souls, brilliant, and alive with the desire to grow. They all work so very hard. No one works harder than them, that's for sure. One can not attempt a more Herculean feat than to change, to let go of what doesn't serve us, and to grow stronger and in time, happier. These ladies have inspired me every month. I believe that growing - and changing into what we are meant to be - takes great courage, and requires the ability to know and accept where we are calling from. That's the kind of power that these women exemplify, time after time, and that's what Next Door supports.
Volunteering in the Vine
Since my last post, my garden was planted in curved raised beds, but the Sweet Peas never came up. I learned how to make strawberry jam thanks to a neighbor, and my street was - by the power of community - lit up by the raising (and electric wire burying) of beautiful post-lanterns with colorfully individualized, resident chosen stained glass (Kokomo glass) panels. Thanks first and foremost to funding from the Vine Neighborhood Association and the LISC foundation, and the months of work grant writing (we got rejected at a banquet once, and that was disappointing but a good experience) and door knocking, and thanks also to resident and volunteer support. Thanks to Frank and Mary at Peepers Stained Glass - bless their hearts - who cut all the glass for us and were really helpful, donating a lot of their time. It made it more complicated, but people really liked being able to pick out their own colors to express their own individual tastes. People joked it would look a "candy-cane lane," but at night, the lights are bright enough so that they don't look very different from one another - and by day they proudly display their art glass colors. Ours is textured, and streaked with purple and cream! The togetherness of the work days - as well as the unification that is represented by the lights - that is why it was a community project - we worked together, and got to know each other even better, and we showed that we can do strong things together, and we can defend our street when we need to. Also thanks to Building Blocks for initially pulling Paul and I in and showing us that "here" is a place of tremendous potential for growth, "here" is a great place to be. Also thanks to volunteer labor, licensed electrician Todd Urness, and contractor Rob Barnard, and Kim Cummings, who has taught me to always look for an Other way to do things, and pretty much, to never to accept impossibility as an option when people's lives can be improved.
After resting on our laurels for a few months (we were tired!) during which time our donated meeting place turned into an rented apartment with a new great neighbor, we took to hosting monthly neighborhood meetings at my home, which makes more sense anyway. Once the snow melts, please venture out to see what new things we're doing to revitalize our street! There are resources out there to help us grow our dreams, possibly due to the new medical school going up by the Alamo Drafthouse Theater, and the new Wellness and Sustainability campus going up on the Crosstown. And the lovely Vine Neighborhood awaits its future breathlessly. It's an old neighborhood with a history of beauty and art and truth, and I love it because it is one of the most real and striving places I have ever seen.
MBLEX
I passed the MBLEX. The Massage and Bodyworks Licensing Examination. I passed it, and got my license. Last March. That's it for now.
Dreaming
I am dreaming of more pomegranate seeds, and less prose.
